Harry Potter and The Evil Ring
by xNightcatx
Summary: What if the HP gang, LOTR gang and POTC gang ended up together searching for the ring to either destroy it, have it, or just lose it? Well, we'll find out in this Parody! CHAPTER 7 IS UP! Reviews highly appreciated.
1. In The Forbidden Forest

**A/N: Ok, this is my 2nd try at this story! But it was first in this format**

**Harry: hello  
Author: um hi...**

**so they wouldn't let me post it, so I'm working on story format but I don't think it'll be the same. If you want to read the original version of this story first (i suggest you do, it'll be more fun!) then e-mail me. **

**  
Plz review! And don't just say "It's good", that doesn't tell me anything. Put a bit of detail of what you liked, comments, questions, concerns, predictions...blah blah.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! Nor LOTR or POTC (though I wish...)**

**My comments will be inside ()'s and in italics. **_(Like this. Hmm, wonder how much it'll cost me to own HP...I could blackmail JK...oop- JUST KIDDING!)_

**Oh and, plz read this Author Notes! Thank you!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry Potter and The Evil Ring That Voldemort's Cousin Owned.

Chapter 1:

"In The Forbidden Forest...We're Lost..."

The Popular Trio were in the common room, discussing something that Ron (surprisingly) had discovered on his own, and was proving to be really important news for our great Hero, Harry Potter.

"You're telling me," said Harry, trying to digest what Ron had just said "That there's an evil ring that would make Voldemort powerful and that Voldemort has a sister?"

Ron nodded. "That's what Dumbledore said, anyways"

Hermione spoke up, as she usually did, the stupid little girl...(_author growls and murdering thoughts shot through her brain, making her smile at Hermione's sudden death in some other inexistent story)_

"But- we've got exams!" she squeaked.

There was a silence as the two boys looked at each other and back at the girly stupid know-it-all (_yeah, I hold a grudge against her, so sue me!)_ that they had the misfortune of have met at the train in their first year at Hogwarts.

Harry and Ron both chimed in "We're losing time, let's go!" and turned away, so the little Ms. Brains had no other choice but to follow her boy companions.

Meanwhile, in the Forbidden Forest...

A _duet_ walked, looking at their surroundings, bewildered. Any passerby (_if there was any_) would guess they were lost. This was a point that poor old Samwise was trying to make his master see.

"Face it, Mr. Frodo," said Sam "Smeagol got us lost!"

Frodo growled at his companion. "No he didn't!" he defended the 'poor defenseless creature'_(author snorts, "Yeah right, and piranhas aren't evil, they just want to be your friends")_ "We just-...can't find the way..." he looked around again.

"That's what lost means!"

Frodo was stubborn. "We're not lost!"

Sam rolled his eyes. Boy, was it annoying to have a companion this stubborn...

And- Meanwhile at sea...

It's something like what went on with the Trio, except that this is a Duet...a duet of the hottest, cutest, bishest, loving, adventurous, passionate, rough, water-loving, _(Okay, okay, enough of that, then.)_, men. Yes, you guessed! It was none other than charming cocky Captain Jack Sparrow and the cutest blacksmith ever, Will Turner _(Author fans self, "I won't faint, I won't faint, I won't faint...gwad they're sooo hott!)_. They were aboard Jack's dearest _Black Pearl_, the same night when Frodo and Sam got LOST and the night our beloved trio set out to find Voldemort.

Will was telling Jack about something he'd heard and that was interesting enough for our charming Pirate here.

"So you're saying," said Jack after Will told his story "that there's a ring that can get me power? How do you know this?"

"I heard that ugly guy say it to himself before taking Elizabeth" said Will

"And why did he take Elizabeth?" asked Jack

Will whined in irritation "How am I supposed to know! He's probably thinking of turning her into a slave or something!"

Jack leaned back and crossed his arms. "And what makes you think I'll help you save her...again?"

Will frowned. "Well...I...there'll be lots of rum!" he offered.

Jack rubbed his chin, thinking. "Hmmm..."

"And-...you'll be rich!" Will continued, trying to tempt the pirate into helping him.

"Interesting..." was the only thing Jack said.

"And there'll be-...women!"

"You've got yourself a deal!" he said. He looked around "Now, if we could just see through this fog..."

Will squinted at the horizon "I think I see land ahead..." he informed the Captain.

"How far?" asked Jack.

Will continued to squint "About...-"

Suddenly, the ship stopped out of the blue very hard, crashing into the sands, literally coming out of the blue! _(blue as in water, as in sea)_. The two bishies screamed out as they flew off the ship and hit the sandy ground.

"-two inches, least..." Will finished his incompetent sentence.

Jack glared at the young Blacksmith.

"Please Jack!" begged Will "Help me rescue Elizabeth! Or else I will never get married...probably never have children-"

Jack rolled his eyes in a tiresome way "Here we go again..."

Well, while Will lectures Jack about his miserable future, let's see what's going on at the dark side...

Elizabeth rattled the bars of her new cell angrily as any Damsel in Distress would do. Except she didn't whine, and her mind was full of curses meant for her captor that would make any sailor blush. "Let me go! I demand you let me go!"

Voldemort wheeled at her, "Silence! Can't you see I'm talking to my evil sister Saphira?"

Elizabeth snorted. "Really?" she found it hard to believe what he'd just said. "I thought she was your daughter! I mean, c'mon! She's only 15!"

Saphira crossed her arms and frowned. "Why do people keep telling me I'm your daughter?"

"I don't know" said Voldemort "As far as I know, you were adopted, just like me, then we grew evil-"

"Shut up!" said Saphira.

"Yeah, what she said!" Elizabeth piped in.

"I don't wanna hear that story for the 7th time this day!" said Saphira. And It would get in anybody's nerves, having to hear the same old miserable story again and again, reminding you that you were the sister of an "Evil Lord".

Voldemort sulked, and muttered to himself "Just wait 'til I'm powerful...-"

"You!" Saphira had heard him "What happened to 'We'!"

Voldemort looked around nervously "Er...um...Oh look! Pizza's here!"

**xHPx**

"And I'm sure they'll kill me and that'll be the end of the Turners since I won't have children-"

**xHPx**

"This is the last time we take shortcuts through a forest!" growled Sam as they walked in the same Forest.

"For the last time, Sam," said Frodo "we're not lost! We just can't find our way!"

"And where's Smeagol?" Sam had given up in making Frodo see that 'not finding their way' meant the same thing as being LOST.

"He went to hunt a kangaroo" said Frodo promptly.

Sam blinked, and felt his temper rise. "Kangaroos don't live in England!"

"Ohh..."

"He left us!" said Sam, who couldn't believe that Frodo were this thick.

"He did not!" Frodo snapped "He said he'd return this February the 30th..."

**xHPx**

"That's the last time we ask a centaur for directions!" Harry told his companions, the Redhead cool sidekick and Ms. Braniac-I-make-Einstein-piss-in-his-pants.

"It was Hermione's idea!" said Ron who was just as angry as Harry.

"But-" Hermione started

"We're lost!" Harry interrupted her.

"So were the centaurs!" Hermione responded resentfully, pointing out the fact.

Ron could only growl, for he was ready to throw a thread of insults and curses that would make 2 sailors blush.

**xHPx**

"-And I'll die, not knowing what being loved feels like, my soul will wonder the earth, sad because the one I loved was killed by an evil guy-"

**xHPx**

"Got any 2's?" asked Saphira.

"Go fish" responded Voldemort.

**xHPx**

Sam fumed. "We're lost!"

"Nu uh!" said Frodo.

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

**xHPx**

"-I'll never be a father and I'll never know the joys of-"

"Alright already!" said Jack, not wanting to hear any more of Will's supposed sad future without Elizabeth "Stop it! I'll help you if you promise to shut up!"

"Deal"

**xHPx**

"Follow the star, she says!" Ron fumed "Follow the star!"

"I didn't know it was an airplane!" said Hermione with airs of superiority.

"Now we're really lost" commented Harry as he looked around, the Forbidden Forest looking the same from every angle. (_For those who've noticed I haven't said a thing 'til now, it's because these ones are shorter and there's not much to say in these ones. But- just for the sake of it...BEWARE OF THE STICKPEOPLE! THEY WILL BRING DOOM AND DESPAIR TO ANYONE WHO COME ACROSS THEM! THERE'S NO ESCAPING THEM! NOOOO, THERE'S NO WAY! FEEAAR, FEEAAR, DOOOOMED...doooomed...)_

**xHPx**

Will almost jumped off his clothes, _(Yeah, I know it's skin instead of clothes. But just think of how good he looks without clothes! hmm...ok on with the story, move along, noooothing to see here...)_. "Jack, I think I heard someone..."

Jack glanced over to the cute blacksmith "It's just your imagination" he decided.

**xHPx**

Harry stopped, and warned his friends. "Quiet...I hear someone coming..."

**xHPx**

Jack instructed Will "We jump in-"

**xHPx**

"At the count of three..."

**xHPx**

"One..." the Pirate counted down.

**xHPx**

"Two..." Harry whispered to his friends.

**xHPx**

"THREE!"

CRASH! _(Yes, I'm leaving this original sound effect. Why? I dunno...just cause, I guess. But if anybody asks: the Stickpeople made me do it )_

* * *

**A/N: **

**REVIEW! CLICK THAT LITTLE BUTTON! GO ON! DO IT!**


	2. CoughAFight and Still Lost

**A/N: Check my profile for any info that is very IMPORTANT about this parody, thank you. Ok, go, be free, read and review plz!**

* * *

Chapter 2:  
Cough-A-Fight and Still Lost 

_(Previously...in "Harry Potter and The Curse of The Evil Ring That Voldemort's Cousin Owned" author pants...)_

CRASH!

Yes, there was a crash! Of bodies! Of 2 groups! This is where it gets interesting, ladies and gentlemen!

Jack jumped up to his feet, taking out his sword as soon as possible. "Stop it right there!"

Harry fumbled to his feet too, taking out his wand to confront whoever had come across his path.

Jack and Will stared at the thin wand in Harry's hand, and _laughed_.

"Did you see that?" Will said as he laughed.

"He's trying to defend himself with a stick! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he found it very hilarious. And any muggle would. Except these were the hottest muggles around, the only muggles hot enough, the bishiest, the cutest, the hottest, the handsomest, the-..._(I have to buy myself a thesaurus! Anyways, back to the original story...)_

Harry said nothing, for anything that was passing through his mind was insults and curses that would make any sailor blush _(Hey, this is a PG-13 story, best make it suitable for the audience! That includes some good stuff later! )_. Harry waved his wand, knocking Will out with a spell.

Jack stopped laughing and looked at his companion that was now on the ground. "What the-"

Harry aimed his wand at Jack, and shouted "Expelliarmus!"

Jack's sword flew off his hand, leaving the charming pirate bewildered. "I didn't see that one coming..." he admitted to himself. Clearly, he'd have had a bottle of rum before coming to the Forest _(But who cares! He's even cuter when he's drunk! stripping down _

_**Whoa, there! Stop right there!**_

_Who're you?_

_**Your other self. Yeah, typing at 12: 46 am does give you split personalities but that's besides the point! You can't strip when there's a story going on! And you can't type as so many graphics. **_

_mumblemumble fine. Back to the story)_

"Ugh, my head" groaned Will as he sat up.

Harry wasn't done yet. "Wingardium Leviosa!" _(Author claps, knowing she spelled a spell right. Woot! I'm a real HP fan! Yay me!)_

Will was suddenly levitated from the ground, and he hovered in midair. Will looked around him, finding he was no longer on the Forest ground, but in midair. "Hey...I can see our ship from here!" he said, for the sake of the _"I can see my house from here"_ classic line.

Jack looked at Harry, and at Will, and at the stick in Harry's hand. He seemed to be pondering these things and threading them together to form a realistic conclusion "I'm starting to think the boy's a wizard..." And this answer just assured the author that the Captain did in fact drank a bottle of rum, or maybe it's just because his brains _were_ fried in the sun while his stay in that godforsaken spit of land for 3 days. _(hey, either way, he's still cute! )_

xHPx

Meanwhile, with our dear two hobbits, Frodo and Sam, the argument still went on as professionally and more maturely possible...

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

Ok, so not so professionally _or_ as mature as possible...

xHPx

Back at the Evil Layer, our captive had decided that if she couldn't do anything to get out of her cell and run to freedom, she'd annoy the heck outa her captor!

"Stop talking prisoner!" Voldemort shouted out.

"I won't 'til you let me go!" Elizabeth shouted back, rattling the cell bars again to annoy him even more.

xHPx

Back with our two groups that had just found each other, there was some questions they'd want answered.

"Ooh, ooh!" Hermione danced in tiptoes, her hand up in the air as if she wanted to answer a question the teacher had asked. Stupid show off, know-it-all. "Harry, he's a pirate!"

"How do you know?" asked Ron

"I-"

"Lemme guess..." Harry interrupted "You read about them"

Hermione turned away from him, crossing her arms "Don't hate me cause I'm smart" But the thing is, how can we _not_ hate her! Stupid smarty-pants! Gets jealous if there's someone smarter than her!

Jack had had enough of this. Having a kid outbest you did kinda hurt your dignity. But then again, I don't think there was dignity left on him...But of course, he's still cute! "Alright, move it chipmunks, I'm in search of something valuable"

Hermione did her 'I know, I know' tiptoe dance again "Ooh, ooh, Is it a treasure chest?"

"No, it's a powerful ring" answered Jack

Hermione looked crestfallen "Oh, uh-...I-I knew that..." riiight she knew that. She just doesn't want to look dumb like any normal person! _(Yea so I'm being biased! So sue me:-P)_

"Suuure" Ron voiced the Author's thoughts.

Harry stepped up, and growled at the pirate "Back off Seagull! That ring is ours!"

Jack also stepped up "It's SPARROW you pothead!"

"Yea!" Will supported Jack "Back off um...frog eyes!"

Jack glanced at Will, in his 'Don't do that' expression "Will? Leave the insults to me, okay?"

Will shrugged off "I'm just trying t be more pirate-y" and also, the good insults had been taken by Jack with the 'pothead' thing, that would make any HP fan angry, if it wasn't that he was soooo cute.

Harry and Ron glanced at each other, and coughed something that sounded so familiar to "Loser"

Will blinked, apparently had not caught what they'd tried to say "Do you need a cough drop?"

Harry and Ron continued their fake coughing "(cough)Idiot(cough)"

Hermione joined in, with an insult that included everyone below her. "(cough)morons(cough)"

Jack didn't stay behind "(cough)dimwits(cough)"

Harry and Ron responded "(cough)stupid(cough)"

Ron felt a prickle inside his nose and- "Achwooooh!"

Jack coughed next, "(cough)ketzuntai(cough)"

"(cough)thankyou(cough)"

"(cough)noproblem(cough)"

Yes, guys can be such weirdos. _(By the way, a big Hello to the HP weirdos! AWOOOOOOOOO! CALL OF THE HP WEIRDOS! From your dear Chief Weirdo, XmischiefX)_

Let's flip to our other duet who's still LOST.

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

As I said before: Guys can be such weirdos.

xHPx

Voldemort couldn't take it anymore, he was being annoyed to death! _(A big Hello to Evie2, her stories are so rockin cool! And beware of the socks! Ha, I luv those socks! But I love Sirius more, heheh. Hi Evie2 and congrats! Your stories are hilarious! Huggles!)_ "DAMMIT! WHY WON'T SHE SHUT UP!" No, he wasn't talking about the author, for he knows that if you insult or piss an author out, she'll hunt you down and make your life miserable.

Saphira glanced over at her supposed brother "Have you tried this...HEY! YOU WITH THE FACE! SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!"

Pleasant silence.

Elizabeth blinked "..."

"Ya happy now?" Saphira said to his, again, "supposed" brother.

Voldemort said nothing, but only sulked.

* * *

**A/N: tan taraaaaaan.  
What will happen? Will Elizabeth ever stay quiet?(guess so) Will Sam and Frodo ever stop arguing? Will smeagol ever die from eating poisoned meat? (shakes bottle of black liquidsure he will, hehehe)  
Find out next week! on the next episode! Sry, no preview!**


	3. Mysterious Disoriented Pizza

Chapter 3:

Mysterious Disoriented Pizza and "When Birds Attack"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

What a nice start for a chapter...

Back in the Evil Layer, Voldemort seemed to be jumping around, looking forward to something. Meanwhile, our little 15-year-old Princess of Evil, Saphira, relaxed by reading a magazine.

"Saphira, get your nose out of that magazine!" snapped Voldemort at her. "Cousin Saruman'll be here soon!"

Saphira didn't look up from her magazine "Yah...uhuh...oh my gosh!"

This caught Voldemort's attention. "What! Is it an article about Harry Potter dying?" he urged.

"No," Saphira rolled her eyes. Leave it to Voldemort to obsess over a boy's death. "It's an article about Orlando Bloom! Man, is he a hottie!"

Elizabeth didn't hesitate to speak up "Just wait 'til my hottie comes to rescue me!"

Saphira glanced over her way "I thought you were gonna shut up if I gave you a magazine to read!"

Elizabeth crossed her arms, nose high up "I changed my mind"

Saphira growled in anger and picked up a rock that lay on the floor, and chucked it at Elizabeth, who dodged it. You gotta love having a blacksmith-gonna-be-pirate boyfriend!

But her victory dance was cut short by a ringing sound.

Voldemort beamed. "Ooh, that's the doorbell!"

Saphira had gone back to her magazine. "No, that's the telephone" she told him.

Voldemort quirked an eyebrow at the telephone, which he answered gingerly. "Hello?...yeah...uhuh...uhuh...hold on..." he removed the earpiece from his ear and turned to Saphira "It's the pizza guy," he informed her "says he's lost and doesn't know where to find us"

"Then give him directions before the pizza gets cold!" snapped Saphira exasperatedly.

Voldemort turned back to the phone. "Hello?...listen, we live in number 58 Privet Caves...no, the number stands for how many feet we're above the ground...ya, it's a huge cave with a neon sign on the door, you can't miss it...how to get there? Well, you cross the forbidden forest, go down the river, turn left at Gondor, go straight to the black tower and there, you turn right into the ancient forest. If you get to Mt. Doom, you've gone too far...ok, bye." he hung up, satisfied.

Saphira, on the other hand, saw to the obvious, and frowned. "Wait a moment," she said "we didn't order pizza..."

"Who cares?" Voldemort wheeled on her "We're gonna get free pizza!"

Saphira only rolled her eyes at him, before going back to her interesting magazine.

* * *

Ron got out of the phone booth looking victorious "I told ya they'd fall for the pizza delivery trick!" he told the gang.

Harry turned to Hermione, smiling. "You owe me 10 bucks, Hermione!"

Hermione only raised her hand and looked irritated "Whatever"

I'm sure the sane reader will be asking him/herself this question..."_How in hell can a Telephone Booth be set up in the middle of a Forest?"_ Meanwhile, the insane readers will be saying to them "_Who cares? It's funny!"_ but the answer is this...THE STICKMEN SET UP THAT TELEPHONE BOOTH! Why, you ask? Well, I don't have any idea. Probably to make some money before taking over the world, or something. Anyways, back to the story...

"Okay, so..." Jack spoke onto the awkward silence that had set up after the odd little rant about Stickmen by the Author. "Where's the river?"

All eyes were set on the Resident Braniac: Hermione.

Hermione noticed they were all looking at her, and shouted out in frustration "How am I supposed to know! It's not like I studied Magical Geographic Studies and know what geographic features to look for to find a mystical river of pure water that runs upstream and goes west directly to Gondor!"

There was a silence after her little rant, broken by Will's cute and dumb comment.

"So, does that means East?"

Ron sighed "We need to ask for directions..." Others mumbled in agreement.

* * *

BEEEP, BEEEEEP

"Ooh, the door bell!" beamed Voldemort

"No," Saphira flipped the page of her magazine "that's the microwave"

Voldemort blinked, uncertain "But, I wasn't cooking..."

"That was me," said Saphira "I was making some tacos"

"Ooh," Elizabeth bit her lip, smiling "Can I have some?"

* * *

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

Silence.

_Good! I think the argument's over no-_

"Legolas and Aragorn have abandon us, Sam"

"No, they're looking for us!"

_-oww...Merlin, they'll never quit!_

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

* * *

Back with the other gang, Jack and Will were playing a very interesting, mature, pirate-y, complicated game that helped a Captain make any important decisions...

Jack's voice spoke up, "One, two, three!"

"Ha! Paper beats rock!"

"and my sword can cut your throat!"

"Okay, okay!" Will backed away "I'll climb then..."

Okay, so it isn't so sophisticated, mature, complicated or pirate-y, but it's still a good decision-maker!

Will, admitting defeat, climbed up a tree, as they had agreed that loser would have to climb up.

"What do you see!" Harry called out to him.

Will looked around the forest from all the way up there, studying the horizon, and reporting it back to them.

"Some trees...dirt...rocks..." Very efficient, isn't he? _(For those who don't catch that, this is called sarcasm_)

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes at the incompetent blacksmith, thinking that he might've actually downed a bottle of rum from Jack's private stock. "Besides that."

Will continued to scan the forest "I see two kids coming..." he informed "and a bird coming this way really fast..." he squinted at it "I think it's gonna attack my tree..." he shifted "Oop, I stepped on a bird's next...man, that bird looks angry..."

"Uhh...Will?" Jack said uncertain

Will ignored him, watching the bird "It looks like it's gonna kill..." he commented

"Will, uh...I suggest you get down..."

"But I wanna see who the victim is!" protested Will

"Trust me, you don't," said Jack "now get down! Get down you idiot!"

Will was quite intrigued by the bird, though "It's coming closer...and closer..."

"Come down!" hissed Jack

"Guys, do something!" Hermione urged the other two, not bearing to see any killing.

And they did something.

"I'm betting 5 galleons on the bird!" Ron said, excited.

"10 that he jumps off!" offered Harry, also beaming.

"Will!" Jack shouted, ignoring the wizards "Come down from there!"

Will was still gazing at the bird "What sharp beak it has-" reality dawned on him "Aaagh! It's coming after me!" without hesitation, he jumped off the tree, before the bird could reach it.

"Ha!" Harry cheered "You owe me 5 galleons!"

Ron sulked "Put it on Hermione's tab, I'm broke"

"Hey!" Hermione scowled indignantly.

But of course, they all ignored her.

* * *

DING DING

"Ooh, the door!"

"Nope" said Saphira lazily "My beeper"

Voldemort growled.

* * *

Well, it seems they've stopped arguing for at least a moment.

"Sam," said Frodo, sounding quite amazed "did you see that? A bird almost attacked that guy on the tree!"

Sam sighed in a worshipping kind of way, "Must've been a brave fighter..."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, that's it for Chapter 3. No more 'til next year!**

**PLZ REVIEW, PLZ REVIEW! **

**Happy Holidays, Happy New Year!  
From all of us to you! Here, cake! hands out cake to people who will review**

**'Til next year! Bye!**


	4. Infinity of Infinities

**Hello everybody! Sorry it took so long...but here it is! Chapter 4 at last!**

**Please...pleaaaaase...PLEAAAAAAAASE review! It doesn't matter if it's something stupid like..."Bother" just as long as you click that little button at the bottom of the page, type something, and hit the ENTER KEY. I really appreciate whatever you write...doesn't matter if it's something random, I LIVE for random! **

**So...please enjoy this chapter, and REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW I MEAN IT PLZ REVIEW!**

**Ok, that's all, please proceed and...heck just have fun!

* * *

**

**Chapter 4:**

**Infinity of Infinities**

"I spy...with my little eyes...something brown-"

"Tree" Jack responded flatly

"I spy..." Will tried now "something green-"

"Tree branch" Jack guessed "And the next's just a guess...tree"

"Wow...you're like psychic..."

"No," Jack sighed "I'm just bored"

"Before I forget," Will spoke "I saw a big hole ahead too."

"How far?" Jack inquired.

"About-"

Will was interrupted by the sudden fall of all of them. They fell like dominoes into a pit in the ground, they fell like swatted flies, they fell like something or other that I can't recall because I'm half asleep and can't find my thesaurus or my blankie...WHERE'S MY BLANKIE!

Nevertheless, Will raised his head, spat out dry leaves he accidentally had swallowed and finished his sentence "-Two inches?"

Jack glared, unhappy with his fellow pirate. Meanwhile, Ron looked around, noticing the presence of something foreign.

"Who're you?"

The others looked about, and saw 2 strangers sitting with them in this trap.

Hermione let a girly squeal, quite unlikely of her, and got all hyped up. "THAT'S ARAGORN AND LEGOLAS!" she told the others, giggling with delight.

Said Aragorn, ignored her and turned to the others, "Do any of you in any case know how to get out of this hole?"

"No" was the chorused flat disappointing answer.

Ron suddenly frowned, noticing something peculiar about the blonde stranger.

"Hey...You" He pointed at Will, who sat next to Jack "look like him..." Ron pointed out Legolas who sat far away from them.

Legolas looked up at him in surprise "Someone stealing my good looks? That's not right!"

Aragorn sighed tiredly and rolled his eyes "Here we go again"

"Why do you two look the same! I want to know!" Ron pushed on.

All of a sudden, none other than ORLANDO BLOOM /_Covers ears and shields self from crazy squealing fangirls appeared before them\\_

Hermione let yet another earsplitting girly squeal, and jumped up and down, pointing at Orlando Bloom "THAT'S ORLANDO BLOOM!" She shouted.

Orlando glanced at her, feeling awkward about the fangirl episode this girl was having "er yeaaaaaah...Well I was asked to portray Legolas instead of Faramir, and I chose to be Will and it looks like people like my acting" he smiled pleasantly.

"And good looks" Legolas added.

Aragorn rolled his eyes again "If good looks were everything, why would Arwen be engaged to me and not you?" he asked defiantly.

Legolas shrugged "She must be blind"

Orlando shifted, feeling awkward "Seems like I'm not needed anymore so-"

"NOOO STAY!" Hermione unexpectedly jumped into his arms "Take me with you!" she pleaded passionately.

"Hermione!" Ron got up and quickly pulled her off Orlando who looked mildly scared by Hermione "SNAP OUT OF IT"

Hermione let out another grand squeal, making everybody wince.

Orlando backed against the dirt wall, "Best be gone" and with that, he disappeared _/Fights crazy devastated fangirls off with an umbrella\\_

Hermione was clearly devastated by Orlando Bloom's sudden disappearance "NOOO THE HOTTIE IS GON- Wait..." she looked around, suddenly coming up to Legolas and sitting on his lap "Hey, you single?" she asked slyly, battering her eyelashes in a very flirty way.

Harry and Ron rolled their eyes, and pulled her away from the Elf.

"So..." Jack said, glancing cautiously at Hermione who was staring at Legolas "How do we get out of here?" he asked.

Aragorn sighed "Seems like we're stuck here..." he looked up at the surface hopelessly.

"Hey!" Snapped Jack "I have to help this guy get his girl back and have a powerful ring!"

Will smiled grimly "Aragorn's right, we're stuck here"

"So..." Ron said into the gloomy silence "Who wants to play chess?" he smiled cheerfully, hoping to lighten up the mood.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

Best leave these two alone...Off to the dark side...

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**CRASH**

"PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S THE DOOR!" Voldemort's voice bellowed

"Nope," Saphira said, "GAMECUBE!"

Voldemort growled, starting to get ticked off (I think he was already ticked off) by the situation.

XXXXXXXXX

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

...I'm not even going to say a thing...

XXXXXXXXX

"I WIN!" Will shouted victorious.

Meanwhile, Ron looked down at the chess board in disbelief. "I...can't believe it..." he said weakly, searching the board for anything that would say otherwise "...I'VE BEEN BEATEN AT MY OWN GAME!"

"Oh quit your belly aching" Harry snapped, wiping his glasses with his sleeve, finding no other thing to do.

Will stopped his victory dance, and stretched his hand towards Ron "So pay up, Ron"

"Uhh..." Ron looked down at Will's hand, then turned to Hermione who had spent all this time making a book out of the dirt and leaves she had found in the pit floor. "Hey Hermione, can I have 20 bucks?"

Hermione looked up at him, but did not stop her work, "Haven't you learned not to gamble?" she asked.

Ron was quiet for a moment, "...Is that a yes or a no?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned her back at him, focusing on her project. "Men" she muttered bitterly to herself.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Back in the Evil Layer, a peculiar noise rang in the cave, which Voldemort took as a good omen, and got up at once "Okay, now I'm sure that was the door-"

"No" said Saphira who was sitting in a lawn chair, eating popcorn "actually, that was my CD player...the batteries are dead..."

Voldemort frowned, confused "Since when do YOU have a CD player?" he asked her.

"Since I have a computer" Saphira shrugged.

"And since when do you have a computer?" Voldemort asked.

"Since I have a cell phone" Saphira responded.

"And since when do you have a cell phone?"

Saphira gave a tiny shrug of indifference "Since I stole your credit cards"

"And since when do you steal my cred- YOU WHAT!"

"A bit slow, aren't you?" She teased.

Voldemort didn't like jokes, but disregarded her teasing, bellowing "GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARDS!"

"mmm...you can have the bills" She handed him a box labeled "credit card bills"

Voldemort opened it at once, and studied some of the bills, frowning "Hey, since when does the number 8 is sideways?"

"Um..." Saphira shifted in her chair, edging forward "That's actually...the sign for...infinity..." suddenly she got off the chair and ran off.

"OH infinity...INFINITY!" Voldemort's eyes popped "HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND!" he looked around, seeing no Saphira in the chair, but Saphira running away "SAPHIRA! COME BACK HERE!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

Sam stomped angrily "Yu uh times infinity!" he said.

"Nu uh times infinity plus one!" Frodo followed.

"Yu uh times infinity plus 2!" Sam said next.

"Nu uh times infinity plus...4!" Frodo said smirking.

"Yu uh times infinity plus 11!"

Frodo wasn't going to give up that easily "Nu uh times infinity plus 11 plus 1 times 4!"

"Yu uh times infinity plus 11 plus 1 times 4 plus 3 times 5!" Sam added on.

"Nu uh times Infinity plus 11 plus 1 times 4 plus 3 times 5 plus 6!"

"Yu uh times infinity plus 11 plus 1 times 4 plus 3 times 5 plus 6 times 2!"

Frodo decided to end it now, and end it by _winning_ "Nu uh times infinity plus 11 plus 1 times 4 plus 3 times 5 plus 6 times 2 plus 9 times 12 plus INFINITY PLUS INFINITY TIMES INFINITY TIMES 2 TIMES INFINITY PLUS INFINITY TIMES INFINITY TIMES INFINITY PLUS INFINITY AND...TIMES INFINITY BY 4!" he panted exhausted "HA!" he said victorious.

Sam growled, but soon stopped, becoming serious "Erm...Mr. Frodo?" he called.

"What now Sam?" Frodo said tiredly.

"You might want to stop walking..." Sam suggested.

"Why would I want to stop walking?" Frodo frowned.

"Becau-"

"AAAAAAAGH"

Why must I write about this? So he fell down a suddenly-there hole to either meet his doom or...well his 2nd doom...And poor Sam gaped at the spot where Frodo had been standing. Sam snapped out of his mild shock and came forward, looking down at the dark hole.

"Don't worry Mr. Frodo! I'll come save you!" and as a good servant, he jumped after Frodo.

Unfortunately, that wasn't such a good idea as he thought it would be, and Frodo could see that right away, (well who wouldn't, I mean...fine I'll shut up and keep writing but I'm not being paid enough!...wait...I DON'T GET PAID...DAMMIT).

"How are you supposed to help me if you're stuck here with me, Sam?" Frodo asked as calm as he could.

Sam frowned in thought, "I uh...didn't...think..." he smiled weakly at Frodo.

"Frodo! Sam!" Aragorn said suddenly, recognizing the two unfortunate hobbits.

"You're alive!" Legolas said happily, scooting away from Hermione who had been moving closer to him when no one was looking.

"We've been looking for you!" Aragorn went on.

Sam smiled, and turned to Frodo "You see, Mr. Frodo? They _were_ looking for us!"

Frodo only grumbled, not wanting to admit he was wrong.

"No way..." Ron spoke suddenly, "No way! I'm beating the crap out of Will in this game!"

"And, check mate" Will made his final move, smiling pleasantly.

"Wait...that's not fair..."

"And suddenly you're not gloating anymore" Will smirked triumphantly.

Ron glared at him, growling in anger.

"Man, I'm gonna turn FRICKIN RICH beating the crap out of this guy!" Will laughed, repositioning his pieces for another game.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! **

**Thank you so much! Cookies for everyone! no...CUPCAKES for everyone! heheh**

**Ok then see ya later! bye!**


	5. Peep Show, The Avengeful fans and

**A/N: Sorry, I do seem to update once a year or something lol. Umm about that PoTC2 and PoTC3 thing...I saw both movies, (i own Dead Man's Chest) and I'm afraid I can't add any PoTC2 or PoTC3 ingredients into this fanfic. HOWEVER! I am trying to brainstorm a SEQUEL and it's coming alright so far. This one fanfic has about 10 chapters, so it gives me plenty of time to come up with a good enough sequel. Maybe I'll improve during that time. HAH as if that's going to happen.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned PoTC, HP and LOTR I WOULDN'T BE HERE, YOU DONUT!**

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**Peep Show, The Avengeful Fans and Padfoot's Hidden Agenda.**

Welcome, foolish mortals, to another chapter of the Curse of the Evil Ring...I know you are wondering what the title of this chapter means...and you'll soon see that it refers to different events throughout this chapter...now...let us continue with this foolish story made for foolish humans, by a foolish mortal who wants to be a foolish author...let us foolishly begin...foolishly...

"Alright Saphira" Voldemort said exasperatedly, holding his new credit card bills "Why have you done this to me?"

Saphira only shrugged in that stereotypical teenage way parents are always ticked off about, and said "Just 'cause"

"There must be a reason why you spent an Infinity amount of money on merchandise using my own credit cards" Voldemort reasoned.

Saphira shrugged again, "Just 'cause"

"Stop saying that!" Voldemort snapped.

"Whatever" Saphira shrugged indifferently.

Voldemort sighed despairingly, "I hate teenagers"

--HP--

"Check mate, again" Will said.

Ron shook his head, staring at the chess board "No, no, no no no!!! I LOST!"

"Ron, shut up." said Harry, trying to shift positions so his rear end wouldn't hurt "We're getting tired of hearing you whine about it"

"We're also getting tired of being in this Godforsaken hole" Jack added.

"And I'm getting tired of her staring at me" Legolas added next, glancing fearfully at Hermione, who indeed was staring at Legolas.

"Well" Will stood up and stretched out lazily. "I'm getting tired too so let's climb out of this hole with that handy elevator that has been there the whole time"

"WILL!" Eight angry voices shouted.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Jack barked.

William shrugged. "I was having fun humiliating the redhead." he explained "Besides, I got fifty bucks richer" he smirked.

"Well then," Frodo broke the glaring silence "Hobbits first!" and he ran to the elevator, followed by everybody else. Nobody wanted to stay in that hole any longer. I guess they didn't like my handiwork. Just wait until I have them cleaning the inside of a whale, they'll be begging to be put back in that godforsaken hole, mwahaha- er…I mean…I like ice cream…

Moments later, they stepped out of the elevator at surface level, and admired their surroundings, happy to see something other than trees and the faces of the people they had been stuck with.

"Alright" Harry assumed the stance of a leader, dusting his robes. "Let's go"

"Hey" Jack stopped him "Why do you get to boss us around?"

"Yeah" Aragorn agreed. "I should be the one doing it, I'm king" he reasoned.

"But I'm a Prince" Legolas argued.

"I'm the hobbit with a ring of power" Frodo put in.

Will didn't stay quiet. "I'm a blacksmith with great sword skills who wants to rescue his girl"

"And I'm the pirate who-" Jack stopped abruptly, thinking over what he was going to say. "Okay, you don't need to know" he apologized.

"And we're wizards" Harry replied "so I get to boss you all"

Scowls and complaints arouse from the rest of the crew, clearly not liking his excuse for governing over them. Well, Harry didn't like their reaction, and so he took out his wand and pointed it at them very threateningly. "Is there a problem with it?" he asked coolly.

The glares and whines stopped at once, replaced by mumbling under breath and small apologies "No, no, of course not"

"Good" Harry lowered his wand and started walking "Let's go"

--HP--

The familiar melody known as Hedwig's Theme rang through the cave where Voldemort and his evil sister had taken residence.

"Turn that accursed TV off!" Voldemort's voice was heard complain at the sound of said melody. "I can't stand to watch another Harry Potter marathon"

"Um, actually," Saphira said carefully "that's the doorbell"

Voldemort stared at her, his expression unreadable. "You've got to be kidding me" he finally said.

"Hey, the guy has some style" Saphira put in "unlike some people"

"What are you implying?" he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh nothing. Just go answer the door" Saphira waved away.

Voldemort pushed the subject further. "What are you trying to say? That I don't have any style?"

"Go answer the door" Saphira repeated, refusing to answer his question.

Voldemort didn't give up on it. "Because I do have some sense of style! Look at this cloak-"

"ANSWER THE BLOODY DOOR ALREADY!"

Voldemort wheeled around and ran to the front door (wow, a cave with a door, cool!) and opened it, grinning at the guest. "Cousin Saruman!"

"Hello" was Saruman's polite stiff answer.

Voldemort was too delighted, there was almost a little jump as he shifted, and turned to Saphira. "Saphira, come say hello to Cousin Saruman!"

Saphira didn't raise her eyes from the magazine she was currently reading, but merely gave a nod of the head and said "Yo"

Voldemort wasn't pleased. "Come here and say hello"

"No can do," Saphira replied "I'm allergic to 2nd class evil"

"Saphira!" Voldemort snapped. "Don't talk to Saruman like that!"

"It's alright" Saruman waved it away. "I don't mind. In fact I pity her, living with 3rd class evil and all"

"Thank you!" Saphira exclaimed, raising her arms to the ceiling.

"I'm not 3rd class evil!" Voldemort growled at her. But Saruman was not afraid to point out the reasons why he considered him third class evil.

"First of all," Saruman said "you have no style"

"I do too!"

"Secondly," Saruman continued "you're merely alive. You're like a parasite or something. I mean, you're a disgrace to all the evil in the world!"

"Exactly" Saphira graciously agreed, happy to know someone else shared her opinion on her older brother Voldemort "I mean, he got his ass kicked by a baby!"

"He did?" Elizabeth didn't hesitate to point and laugh at her captor, who glared at her in an instant, shouting "Shut up!"

"Then he got his ass kicked again and again" Saphira kept on "countless of times by the same boy"

"Might that be some Frodo Baggins?" Saruman interrupted at the mention of a boy.

Saphira shook her head and held up her magazine "No, it's this guy" she pointed him out to her cousin. Saruman took one look at the cover picture and grinned, clearly recognizing the boy. "Harry Potter" he said "That guy got some style!"

"Oh!" Voldemort sighed in exasperation "Don't tell me you like him too!"

Both Saruman and Saphira nodded vigorously, before proceeding to talk about Harry Potter and the article inside the magazine. Voldemort had had just about enough of this Potter craziness. He let out a scream, and shouted to the rocky ceiling "I'M SURROUNDED BY HARRY POTTER OBSESSORS!" he cursed at his luck.

"Yes, you, are" a cold female voice behind him said. He turned around and found none other than the Harry Potter fangirls, raising pitchforks, bats and rocks, glaring and getting ready to jump him. They closed in on him slowly, savoring the moment.

"Mother-"

"GET HIM!" the battle cry from the fangirl leader cut in. At once, the angry fanatics shouted in agreement and began to beat the crap out of Voldemort.

In the other side of the cave, Saphira and Saruman were in deep conversation, clearly oblivious to the obsessive females and their newfound victim. Meanwhile, Elizabeth had somehow reached Saphira's popcorn bowl and was happily munching on it and watching the hunt as Voldemort ran back and forth, the fangirls always behind him screaming.

"Saphira! HELP ME!" Voldemort cried out as he passed them by.

"In a moment!" Saphira called back, not bothering to turn around and spoil her conversation with Saruman. "And you live in a privet land, right?" she was asking him.

Saruman nodded "Trespassers are slain and fed to random carnivorous creatures"

"HELP ME!" Voldemort shouted again.

Saphira rolled her eyes, excused herself and picked up a sword, entering the hunt to try and save Voldemort from his gruesome sure death. While the siblings fought out the rabid fangirls, Saruman leaned against the bars of the cell and made small talk with the prisoner. "So, your name is Elizabeth, isn't it?"

"Yes" She nodded "Oh lord, I have fallen so low" she moaned next as she watched Voldemort and the fangirls.

"Whatever you mean?"

Elizabeth sighed and explained "I mean, I had been captured in the past by a handsome, witted pirate, then undead pirates." She gave a sigh "and now, I've been captured by a third-class idiot and his sidekick!" she sighed again "I hope the other girls in Port Royal don't hear about this…I'll be laughed at for weeks"

Saphira kicked the last of the screaming revenge-seeking Harry Potter fans and turned to Elizabeth, saying "That's nothing. I'm still teased badly about my being the sibling of a loser!" she pointed at Voldemort with her sword. Said man was rocking back and forth sucking his thumb in a corner, clearly traumatized by the turn of events.

"That must suck" Elizabeth said, finding that maybe she hadn't it as bad as she thought at first.

"No kidding" Saphira put down her sword.

Voldemort stopped, got up and glared at Saphira "Oh don't give me that, Saphira Lee Anne Slytherin" he told her irritated "You need me"

"Oh shut up!" Saphira snapped back "You are nothing without me! I run this household-" she looked around, choosing a better word for their home "cave all on my own. You can't manage life without me and you know it so shut up before I make sure you don't see daylight ever again!"

Voldemort, in fact, did shut up.

--HP--

"I'm tired" Moaned Hermione

"We know" everyone chorused in a monotonous tone.

Silence.

"…Did I mention I'm tired?"

The rest of the group stared at her in silence.

"Do you hear that?" Legolas asked suddenly.

The group stare fell on Legolas this time. "No, we don't"

"Well, I do." He told them "It's from that steamy spring" he pointed out said hot spring just up ahead.

"What is it?" Hermione's voice squeaked in "Is it a murderer?" she gasped, hiding behind Ron "A thief!"

Ron stared at her. "You've been talking to Cho, haven't you?"

"No," Hermione answered "Actually the author has a small grudge against me so I'm stuck acting this way for a while"

"Does it have anything to do with _Spew?_" he asked.

"It's S.P.E.W." Hermione corrected him "and no, it doesn't- OW" she rubbed her shoulder, thinking better of it "Okay, maybe it does." At this, there was a cackle from an omnipotent force above. It's the author, you dopes.

Harry let out a sigh and rolled his eyes at her. "Hermione, how many times do we have to tell you? No one gives a monkey's ass about that stupid thing"

"And if you go bother the author," Jack said knowingly "terrible things can happen. Trust me, I know" he looked away, overwhelmed by memories the statement caused him.

"And I have a feeling we don't want to know about your little experience" Frodo told him.

Jack's eye twitched, but he nodded in agreement "You got that right, mate"

"Anyway" Hermione piped in, still hiding behind Ron "Someone should go see who it is"

"I'll go" Harry offered, being brave and all that jazz.

"Step aside kid" Jack said, feeling braver and full of pride "We'll go" he motioned to himself and Will.

"I'll go too" Aragorn offered, not wanting to be left behind and later labeled as a wimp.

"Princes first" Legolas stepped forth.

"ALL OF YOU" Hermione snapped at them angrily "just GO!"

The brave volunteers shot her a blank look of confusion before proceeding to search the hot spring. The men sneaked up on the strange voice and crouched behind a line of thick tall bushes at the edge of the smoky spring.

"Well," Will whispered, sitting against the bushes with the others "What is it?"

Jack turned and peeked through the thin top art of the bushes. He rubbed his eyes and took a second look, before grinning and letting out the stereotypical French expression "Ooh la-la" followed by a low wolf whistle "This ain't ordinary, mate" he told his companions "they don't make 'em this hot 'n sexy" he kept looking.

"What?" Will questioned, confused like everybody else sitting with him.

"What is it?" Legolas asked, sitting up and looking over the bushes. He blinked, making sure what he was seeing was in fact really what he was seeing. "Oh, uh, Jack…Jack I- uhh" he said uneasily, sitting back down "I think you should stop looking"

"Why?" Jack questioned "You don't see this much beauty in nature"

"Because," Legolas began to explain "That's a powerful Elf. Goes by the name of _Galadriel _and she can be a bit of a-"

Jack let out a curse as he was hit on the head with a fist by the bather.

"…Violent person" Legolas finished uselessly, looking at the towering beauty that was in fact Galadriel.

"You PERVES!" She shouted, hitting all of them with a long stick with one hand while holding a towel in place with her other hand. "HOW" she spoke between each blow "DARE-YOU-PEEP-ON-ME!"

"WE-DIDN'T-OW!" Will tried to protect his head from her wrath "MEAN-TO!"

"Yeah, THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!" Galadriel hit them again, harder "BASTARDS!"

A barking dog stopped her wrath momentarily. She had been distracted by said black dog which had started to tug on her towel, trying to take it away. "Hey!" she complained, tugging back to keep it in place.

Harry stared at the dog, his mouth falling wide open when he recognized it. "Si-Sirius?!"

Padfoot stopped and stared back, before giving a last hard tug, the towel finally loose. Before anybody could do anything about it, he darted away, towel mouth.

"WOHOO!" the males shouted, grinning at the sight the dog had left them with (Men, perves). Galadriel gasped, and quickly dove for cover behind a big rock.

"Why would Sirius be here?" Harry wondered out loud.

Galadriel's head peeked out from behind the rock at once. "What would you know about Black?" she narrowed her eyes at the Boy Who Lived.

"Why would you know my Godfather!" Harry demanded.

"That" Galadriel thought better of it, and answered "Is private. Can someone please hand me my clothes?" she pleaded.

"Sure thing" Jack answered.

Galadriel shot him an odd look, like that of someone recognizing someone else, and said "Someone else besides you"

"Jack, your reputation precedes you" Will said snickering.

"Shut up, whelp" Jack shot back.

Meanwhile, our brave wizard was rolling on the floor, eyes shut tight and hands clutching his head, moaning loudly "Oh gwad, I don't think I want to know ANYTHING!"

As it is obvious, everyone ignored him. Well, while Harry gets over the fact Sirius has seen heaven along with the other guys, let's see what the rest of the good group is doing…

"_-And personally, I think this is something worth getting killed for because, technically, the house-elves are getting killed over doing our house cleaning without any paychecks or breaks-" _Hermione's voice drone on and on.

As it is, again, obvious, she was being ignored. The remaining boys, Ron, Sam, Frodo, had been ignoring her ever since she had started to rant and they were in the middle of an interesting game right now and they were in no way distracted by Hermione's voice in the background.

"Paper beats rock, Frodo" Ron was saying.

"And scissors beats paper" Sam said.

"Well, how do we know who wins?" Ron asked.

"Personally, I think we all get a point" Frodo put in. Both Sam and Ron nodded in agreement.

"Alright," Ron said "Let's go again. One, two, three!"

"_-They should be appreciated, not exploited by our selfish selves because they are wondrous creatures who deserve better treatment and decent wages-"_

"Paper, paper, and scissors" Ron mused as he saw the results.

"I win this round" Frodo smiled, pleased with himself.

"Okay" Ron said "Point for Frodo. Sam, you and me. Winner goes against Frodo. One, two, three!"

"_-They are beings! Living breathing sensitive beings who have been brainwashed by our society and forced to work for us like slaves with no profit at all-"_

"Rock smashes your scissors, Sam" Ron said triumphal.

"Damn" Sam groaned "I knew I should've gone for paper this time"

"Point for me and- Frodo, you and I now…One, two, three!"

"_-So we should all remember the house elves every time we see our beds made, our fires tended, our kitchens clean and our clothes washed, for they work hard enough to make our lives easy and-_"

"I win" Ron smiled coolly.

"Crud" Frodo groaned "curse your stupid rock"

"Don't be a wimp" Ron told him "Let's go again…One, two, three!"

"_-So it's time for a change, it's time for a revolution, time to fix that which we have wrecked, time to see what we have done to these poor beings-"_

"And we go back to where we started" Ron sighed at the rock, paper and scissors signs each had made.

"Point for all?" Frodo offered.

"Yeah, next round…One, two, three!"

"_-Don't you agree?"_

"Damn" Ron cursed, seeing he had lost with his rock.

"Eh?" Hermione looked at him, confused by his answer.

"Huh?" Ron looked up.

"Don't you agree?" She repeated.

"Oh, sure, whatever" Ron said offhandedly, turning back to his newfound friends "rematch"

"Oh, don't be a wimp" Frodo teased.

"Alright" Ron gave in "point for you, none for me. One, two, three!"

"_-Let us fight for what is right, let us fight for them and for a better world-"_

"Oh, not again" moaned Sam

"Oh yeah, you two just got beat by good old me" Ron grinned at the unhappy hobbits.

"I demand a rematch!" cried Frodo.

"No, no rematch"

"C'mon, are you scared?" Sam asked.

"Alright" Ron snapped "one more game"

Should I keep going with this? They're just ignoring her, so let's just move it along now. Back at the hot spring, Galadriel had recovered her clothes and now came out from behind the rock fully clothed, much to the guy's dismay.

"So, what do you want?" She asked at once.

All at once, explanations came from all five of them and neither let the other finish his explanation. What can I say, guys have no manners. It was impossible for Galadriel to hear each of the explanation in complete, because they kept interrupting each other and trying to speak louder than the other.

"Elizabeth has been captured by an evil Wizard" Will began the explosion of explanations.

Harry had been ahead of Will by moment's time "-Whose name is Voldemort and has a cousin wizard named-"

Aragorn's voice rose from the previous two "-Saruman, who we know wants the ring for-"

"-Myself" Jack was saying "I want to become more powerful after the whelp gets his girl-"

"-Back at me" Harry's voice came clear "He wants to kill me and rule the-"

Legolas sighed "-World rests in the hands of a-"

Jack pushed him away, trying to finish his explanation "-Pirate and that's why I want the-"

"-Ring." Aragorn kicked him down "Honestly, Frodo can't take the ring because he is too-"

"-Stupid!" Harry had reached a frustrating part of his ranting "I beat him 3 times and once when I was a baby and he still wants to-"

"-Kill the evil wizard" Will was saying "and save Elizabeth in hopes she realizes I'm the one for-"

"-This job" Legolas had got up and glared at Jack but continued nonetheless "I'm an elf after all, better than-"

"Mortal" Harry stressed the word "danger. I must stop him before he kills us all and I must-"

Aragorn elbowed him in the stomach so Harry's voice was drowned by his next "-Destroy the ring of-"

"Power that should be all mine" Jack glared at the rest of them "After all I went through the first time to save-"

"-The Wizarding world is getting tired of this situation so I-"

"-Will succeed," Legolas kicked Jack next "because I'm stronger than-"

"-_Anyone_" Will almost shouted the word, "dares put a hand on her, and I'll"

"-Kill-"

"-Them-"

"All" Harry sighed.

Galadriel was quiet.

"Well?" The boys chorused.

Galadriel groaned "Why do I get stuck with the role of Lady Guidance in every story I'm in?" she pouted.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading, I'll see what mischief I can create with the plot of the sequel. Please review, any comment on this or any concern with the sequel. Do you even WANT a sequel?  
I'm out of school, maybe I'll update more often, who knows.  
I'll just go now, bye everyone, thanks for reviewing!**


	6. Neither A Servant Nor A Sidekick Be

**A/N: Hi! Sorry it took me so long...I had computer problems and laziness  
Here it is, Chapter 6! I am in the process of planning a sequel...so if you have any preferences of what you'd like to see, please speak up, it might help me. I just saw Sweeney Todd, that was amazing, maybe I'll cook up something about it...who knows.  
Without further ado, here is Chapter 6, Enjoy and Review! **

Disclaimer: I don't own HP, LoTR or POTC. I tried kidnapping the characters, but they escaped my basement just last month. **

* * *

**

**Chapter 6:  
Neither A Servant Nor A Sidekick Be. "Drive-thru Adventures Of The Lobby Kind" The Plot Revealed, And Our Heroes Aren't Aware Of It Because They Don't Read The Freakishly Long Chapter Titles Or The Story Itself. Or Known As "The Freakishly Long Yet Specific Chapter Title That The Author Came Up With" A.K.A: Chapter 6**

-X- 

"Well, you do have a decent evil lair"

"Thanks" Voldemort beckoned Saphira to come forth.

"Cookies, anyone?" Saphira asked, holding a tray with fresh chocolate-chip cookies

"Say it happily" Voldemort commanded.

Saphira smiled stiffly, and forced her voice to a squeaky sound, and tried again, "Cookies, anyone?"

"With more feeling" Voldemort shook his head, not happy with her weak attempt "as if you could jump for joy"

"That's it!" Saphira threw the cookies at him, ticked off.

"But you were getting so close" Voldemort moaned, removing cookie crumbles from his clothes.

"I don't care!" Saphira snapped "I'm not your servant, you know!"

"How else will you train to be my sidekick-"

That ticked her off even more. "SIDEKICK?"

"Yes" Voldemort nodded "popular polls show that Harry Potter is only successful with a sidekick, so I need one"

"I put up with you because I pity you" said Saphira "I do all the work around here, and what do you do? YOU MAKE ME DRESS LIKE A STUPID HOUSE-ELF AND SERVE TEA AND COOKIES!"

Voldemort took his time to answer, but did not stop himself from saying what was truly in his mind "you would've done great if you had put on that Santa's elf outfit while serving the tea"

Saphira's eye twitched, and she let out a growl, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR LAME STUPID…STUPIDITY!" she cursed herself for not being able to think clearly enough for better insults.

"Now, now, Saphira" Voldemort said calmly "sidekicks don't complain-"

"SIDEKICK?!" Saphira shouted "ME?" she tried to calm down, breathing deeply. It didn't take long, before she had cooled down enough to say the following, "I clean your study, I analyze your stupid plans and I tell you if they will work or not. I do your laundry, and for so long, I've put up with it. But no one, I repeat no one, has the right to call me a SIDEKICK!" Failing to remain calm, she threw a teapot at Voldemort and stormed off to her room, shouting curses and ranting to herself some more.

"And that's why I work alone" Said Saruman, taking a sip of his tea.

"Teenagers" Voldemort rolled his eyes "Don't worry, she'll soon admit she needs me"

Saruman's eyes rested on him for a moment. "Doubt it" he said, going back to his tea.

A cry issued from the cell behind them; A weeping Elizabeth Swann spoke for the first time in hours "I've fallen so low!" she sobbed.

Saphira's voice answered her cry, "YOU AND I BOTH! YOU AND I BOTH!"

**-X-  
**  
"Why does she have to come along?" Hermione asked Jack as the group walked, leaded by Galadriel.

"She'll show us the way" Jack told her.

"Hey," Will nudged him, "Is Harry okay?"

They looked over at said boy, who was staring into space as he walked.

"I can't believe…" he could be heard mumbling to himself "and they're not even married…"

Ron shook his head, pitying his best friend, and leaned closer to Will and Jack, saying "He hasn't gone over the fact Sirius has a love life just like everyone else"

"Alright," Galadriel's voice called out "after we cross this bridge, there'll be only a thousand and five hundred miles to go"

Everyone groaned in unison.

"My feet hurt" Frodo complained.

"I gotta admit" Aragorn said "this is getting painful"

"Oh don't be whiny" Legolas replied "I still have energy a plenty!"

"And I'm hungry" Will piped out. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"We'll eat in about…3 days" Galadriel told them "that's when we've covered a tenth of the way"

More complaining, groaning and moaning was done in unison, as well as dark looks were issued her way from the suffering group.

**-X-  
**  
Meanwhile, in the darkness of the Evil Lair, Voldemort, Saruman and Saphira discussed their evil plans over coffee. Okay they weren't in darkness, they had electricity, beats me how they got electricity in the middle of nowhere. And cable. It's just so hard to get cable and a good internet connection.

"So, what's your plan, Cousin Saruman?" Voldemort said loudly, so as to stop the omnipotent voice from rambling on and on about cable and internet, which is really expensive you know, at least in my salary, dude what kind of price is--

"We get the point!" Voldemort shouted.

Fine. Let's just continue, I see some people are in a very bad mood today. Saphira was no exception to this today, as she grumbled.

"Are you still mad at me, Saphira?" Voldemort asked, arms crossed.

Saphira rolled her eyes and in a lazy tone she answered "Nothing gets past you, does it? Unless you count a teenage wizard, the pizza guy, and the mouse who stole your wallet last week-"

"Don't be so sarcastic and contaserous" Voldemort cut her off, annoyed.

"It's cantankerous, you dimwit!"

"It doesn't matter-"

"Ehem" Clearly, Saruman wanted to be heard.

"Go on, Saruman" Saphira shifted position, her rear end getting sore of just sitting there.

"Well," Saruman began "You've captured Ms. Swann as I instructed, which finishes phase one."

"Why did we capture her?" Voldemort asked curiously "Is it because she's the heir of Ravenclaw? Or Hufflepuff? I always thought she was a bit stupid-"

"Hey!" An insulted Elizabeth Swann threw her shoe at him as best as she could through the bars of her prison.

Saphira sighed as Voldemort gave the prisoner a dirty look. "Don't tell me," Saphira said, "you found out Elizabeth is Harry Potter's cousin"

"That is right" Saruman nodded. Saphira looked indifferent as she continued, filing her nails to a satisfying sharpness only seen in Anime shows.

"And you told Voldie here to capture her, seeing he's a blabber mouth who talks to himself, you were sure he'd say something about the ring of power, which we don't have right now. So Elizabeth's lover would do anything to save her, which meant convincing a cocky pirate to help him, which brings us to the topic of the Ring of Power, which we don't have right now. Then you told Lucius about the Ring of Power and invited him over to the Three Broomsticks with Hagrid. You were disguised, but you managed to get Lucius drunk and he told Hagrid about the Ring of Power, which Voldemort doesn't have yet. You knew Hagrid would tell Dumbledore, neither noticing a friend of Harry's was listening so Harry would then get the news of the ring Voldemort was sure to have, but doesn't, and so they set out to look for it.

And we have the group who wants to destroy the ring; Frod and Sam. You know Smeagol would get them lost in the Forbidden Forest because Smeagol has a second cousin twice removed there with a lovely singing voice, no doubt a eunuch, named Dobby. So the other two groups meet Frodo and Sam and then they meet Aragorn and Legolas who fell in a trap which you made after carefully planning their meeting. They'd meet up and search for Voldemort who doesn't have the ring yet. Then Frodo or Sam will spill the beans about having the ring with them and the pirate will want it, while the other group wants to destroy it, therefore causing a big fight and while they fight one another in a grand struggle to obtain the one Ring of Power which we have yet to take. The fight is sure to happen when they get here, and so I'll snatch the ring from them and claim it as our own and we'll use it to rule the world."  
Saruman smiled at her, impressed. "That is correct. Except Elizabeth is Harry's cousin and protector"

"Huh?" Saphira was caught off guard. She had been sure she hadn't missed a thing in his brilliant plan.

"You see," Saruman set out to explain "Lily knew Sirius would drag off and hit on some girl instead of watching over Harry so she made a rich cousin Harry's protector, in case anything happened to him. Of course, neither one of them knows this, so we can use this to our advantage"

"How is this an advantage to us?" Saphira asked, putting away her filer.

"How else do you protect a Chosen Wizard kid? With magic"

"Big duh" Saphira rolled her eyes.

"If we have the ring," Saruman went on "we can extract the magic in her and use it against Harry, causing him sudden death and- Harry is no more, which lets us take over the world."

"Impressive" she praised him.

"Oh," Saruman flipped his white hair over his shoulder, enjoying the moment "it doesn't take a genius to figure it all out and formulate a plan to obtain the Ring."

"So, what are your proposals Voldemort?" Saphira turned to her brother.

"Er…" Voldemort looked down under the table to a huge folder lying on his lap labeled "Plans" and threw it away before they could see it. "I was very tired the other day so I didn't have time to do anything."

"We'll stick to Saruman's plan then." Saphira said "it seems foolproof unlike others I've seen." As she emphasized the two words, she looked at Voldemort with a gloating smile.

Voldemort didn't look at her, but mumbled under his breath "How would you know? You're just a sidekick"

"I heard that!" Saphira took one of the countless of rocks lying around and threw it at him.

**-X-**

"I'll take a double whopper and a large coke" Jack was saying.

"I want pepperoni on my slice!" Will cut him off in a hyper tone.

"Will, this isn't Pizza Hut!" Jack snapped "this is a Wizarding Domino's Pizza, Burger King, Wendy's and Taco Bell all in one"

"What's a taco?" Ron asked confused.

"I have no idea" Hermione sighed, looking rather tired.

"Hermione has no idea" Ron said, and as soon as he realized what he had uttered, he gasped and shouted to the heavens in clear panic "It's the apocalypse, the world as we know it is about to end!" A moment of silence, and his panic attack disappeared. "I'll take a Number eight, no pickles, and  
extra mayo please"

"Have any mushrooms?" Frodo asked preoccupied.

"Hold on," Jack told him "I haven't ordered yet. That's a double whopper and a large coke no ice, and an Oreo cookie Blizzard--"

"It's a Dairy Queen too?" Will was practically jumping on his spot.

"Be quiet" Jack told him off "And throw in an order of buffalo wings, will you?" he added to the cashier taking their order.

"Buffalos have wings?!" Ron looked more confused than ever.

"Do you want fries with that too?" the blonde employee asked them in a monotonous voice.

"Wait a moment" Harry came closer to the counter, looked at the cashier and gasped in surprise, finally uttering a name he never thought he'd say outside Hogwarts. "Draco Malfoy?!"

"What?" Draco Malfoy stepped back. "There's no Draco Malfoy here, I-I'm Drake Malloy, yeah.."

"Your nametag says Peggy" Ron pointed out suspiciously.

"I'm having my uniform dry cleaned" Draco replied.

Harry looked him over, and asked "Why are you working in a Wizarding Domino's Pizza Burger King Wendy's and Taco Bell all in one Restaurant?"

"They've invented the Firebolt but can't even come up with a name for a restaurant" Jack commented to Will.

"Who cares? As long as the food is great, the name doesn't matter" Will said, looking at the menu for the fifth time, deciding whether he wanted the Quezadilla or a Double Whopper.

Draco sighed, looked down at the counter, preferring to see something inanimate than his worst enemy and his friends. "My father died a week ago." he explained quietly "A girl called Saphira said she was Voldemort's 'tax collector' so she took away all our money. Now I have to work hard to support ourselves." A sniffle escaped him, but in a moment he was the same old Draco Malfoy the Magical Trio knew and hated.

"What about your mom?" Harry asked curiously "Doesn't she work?"

"Well, she does but…" Draco hesitated, trying to explain wordlessly what he meant.

"I get it" Jack gave a nod.

"Damn, I don't want to get it" Harry banged his head against the counter.

"Hey!" Draco snapped "I just washed it!"

"So, Saphira eh?" Aragorn spoke up, trying to ignore Harry and the constant bangs against the stainless steel counter.

"Yes, she took our money away."

"Wait a minute" Harry stopped and frowned, or more like squinted, his eyes tearing up from the pain as a bruise quickly formed on his forehead that really brought out his lightning-shaped scar "Since when does Voldemort socializes with girls? This seems way suspicious. Draco, what did she look like?"

Draco grinned impishly, "I'll tell ya, she was one sexy baddas, with some dangerous curves and-"

"Really?" Jack asked interested "Does she have an older sister?"

Galadriel, standing behind him, smacked him upside the head and addressed Draco "You say her name is Saphira?"

"Yes"

"Dramo!" a cold and angry voice issued from the office "Stop the chit chat and get the get customers their food!"

Draco winced at the sound of this, and through clutched teeth he answered "Yes, Mr. Fernery"

"Hmm, Saphira…yes the name sounds familiar" Galadriel mused.

"Saphira…Saphira.." Jack as also musing out loud "Any connection to- oh crap…Sarah…"

"Oh, now I remember." Galadriel perked up "I heard the name from Saruman when he thought I wasn't listening"

"Saruman," Harry said "Voldemort and some girl. That might be trouble."

The gang nodded slowly in agreement.

* * *

**A/N: Okay well, I had to update from another computer, not easy. Also, an odd thing, I had two or three (can't really remember) sort-of flamer comments in some of my one-shots, and if the authors of said notes are reading this, all I want to say is THANK YOU! You kept it short and to the point, I appreciate that.  
Please review! Thanks!**


	7. DriveThru Adventures of The Lobby Kind

**A/N: I'm sorry for taking so long! I hope this is to your liking, and not as bad as I think. I WILL END THIS STORY, I won't just let it hanging. Thank you for reading, don't forget to review, it's always fun to do that :)**

**Disclaimer: I WISH I owned all these awesome characters!! Except Hermione. No, actually I wish that I owned her too, that way I could torture her more than I do in my stories, mwahahaha- er...Enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7:**

**My Japanese Boy and More of "Drive-Thru Adventures of The Lobby Kind" Episode 12: "Got Space?" And Introducing **_**Teen Resistance Towards Parents and Other Relatives**_** Presented By Saphira Lee Slytherin, The Sexy Bad-ass Tomboy. Bonus, The Long And Confusing Title By The Author Who Was Typing At 1AM Instead of Being In Bed.**

**~X~**

"Saphira Lee Anne Slytherin, come here this instant!"

"Nah, don't feel like it"

"I said NOW"

When you are a parent, or guardian, you realize it's a tough job and wonder why oh why in the seven hells did you decide it was a good idea to take care of this kid whom you are dead sure is the very spawn of evil. The case with Voldemort and Saphira was different and similar as the ones of normal families.

She was a high spirited girl and he an evil warlock who knew nothing of parenting and that thing that most families give each other, that peculiar affection that warms the internal organ that bumps blood throughout the body. That concept of "love" was all too complicated and unnecessary for Voldemort, and Saphira didn't give a damn if she received such affections from this parental figure, who wasn't a parental figure at all. More like the kid brother you're stuck with for the rest of your life.

Back to the point, this was a strange case indeed, for Saphira was stubborn as hell and wanted things her way. She didn't need to demand people to do things her way, she just influenced them, and she'd work with what she had. But with Voldemort, it was impossible to be happy at all, and she felt she couldn't work with such a washed-out criminal. Saphira felt she was destined for greater things, an ocean of things, a freedom unlike what she had.

Unfortunately, she lived in reality, and reality had Voldemort screaming at her, while she wanted to relax. And thus, she ignored his screaming.

Elizabeth sat in the corner of her cell like always, fighting boredom and frustration. After all, she had been kidnapped by sinister skeleton pirates before, but even they weren't as annoying as this Warlock was. What she didn't know was that Voldemort had not always been this annoying and idiotic. His last experience with Harry Potter had left him traumatized to the point he had fled to a most mysterious forest where he had an encounter with aliens who probed him and removed his appendix only to later put it back on backwards, seeing there was no use for it, and they had flung him off the spaceship near Hogwarts where he crossed paths with the Stickpeople Queen whom he insulted and was soon punished for his crime and thus he changed to what he is today.

But Elizabeth didn't know this, therefore she thought he was very annoying and idiotic and what a shame she hadn't been kidnapped by a better villain. Alas, this was her cruel reality, and she tried her hardest to ignore Voldemort's shouts, and turned her attention to the brunette sitting nearby her cell. Saphira was reading a magazine while listening to her CD player and eating popcorn. Elizabeth felt a very weird sensation, as if this girl was somehow very familiar, like a person that she knew and liked but also felt like burning something precious to them.

"Hey" she called out to her, waving her arm as close to Saphira as she could, to get her attention. Saphira turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow; signature of someone Elizabeth knew but couldn't put her finger on. Her facial expressions were so familiar, but she couldn't remember, like if it had been a dream of drunken bliss and starry night; which was ridiculous because Elizabeth didn't drink. "What are you listening to?" she asked.

"Japanese pop, techno" Saphira answered, putting down her magazine "It's pretty good. Would you like to have a listen?"

"Really? I would like that" Elizabeth smiled.

It wasn't long until they found a very good way to connect with each other. It was loud, it was weird, but it was fun to them. Voldemort could only stand by and groan, roll his eyes, and hope this would end soon.

But neither girl cared, and kept on dancing to the beat of the song that played on Saphira's Karaoke machine, and they danced and sang

"_Listen can you tell me where my love has gone, he's a Japanese boy! I woke up one morning and my love was gone, oh my Japanese boy! Ooh I miss my Japanese boy!"_

"Sidekicks" Voldemort groaned to himself.

**-xHPx-**

If you know Hermione, you know that she is very smart, and annoying. If she is passionate about a subject, she will keep on talking about it, and tell you why she is right and why you should agree and do as she says. "And they work hard for us, they deserve pay"

"For the last time, Granger." Galadriel interrupted Hermione's rambling in a tiresome tone "I am not related to house-elves"

"Really?" Hermione asked "Are you-" she stared at her suspiciously "How'd you know my surname?"

"I know _everything_"

Hermione went pale, her eyes unfocused, her voice quivered slightly as if she was going in some sort of shock "That can't be right"

Ron knew the signs, and he paled as well, his eye twitched momentarily as he imagined the outcome. "Oh no" he gulped "here it comes" and quickly covered his ears, shutting his eyes and turning away from her.

And here it came, full blast, Hermione's voice boomed even more passionate than what she had been discussing the house-elves and their rights "I AM THE SMARTEST IN MY YEAR! I'M WAY AHEAD OF THOSE IDIOTS! I GOT A 120/100 IN MY EXAM! _**I**_ KNOW EVERYTHING!"

"Keep it quiet back there!" Draco shouted "And don't scratch the seats, they're leather"

"I'd like to know why Potter gets shotgun and we get the crammed back!" Jack spoke up. True enough, they were crammed in the back of Draco's red Explorer. It was Ron sitting behind Draco, with Hermione sitting on the floor with her back against the driver's seat. Sam was sitting next to Ron, Frodo squashed between Sam and Will, and Jack had claim of the right-side window seat, with Galadriel sitting unhappily on Jack's lap with her back against the window while privileged Harry Potter had shotgun.

"Potter?" Hermione asked Jack "How do _you_ know his surname? Don't tell me _you_ know everything too"

"No" Jack answered "I read the magazine back in the restaurant"

"I'm getting carsick" announced Frodo in a childish voice, hugging his stomach and slightly leaning towards Sam's shoulder.

"Why do we have to ride in the trunk?" Aragorn asked, as he and Legolas had been crammed into the very back like the family pet Rottweilers when going out for a family trip.

"Because" Draco said exasperated, "you two have all these weapons that can do a lot of damage to the leather seats"

"Stupid Orcs" William muttered as he played a gameboy. Although he had mastered five levels in a day, he had been trying to get to level 6 since they left the restaurant.

"Hey, let me play" Legolas took the gameboy before Will could protest, and started working the buttons, and not before long, he smiled in triumph "I think I'm good at this, I'm on level six" Will groaned and closed his eyes, pretending to want to nap.

Galadriel let out a growl when Jack's hand "wandered" up her skirt for the twelfth time "lay one finger on me again Sparrow, and I'll _kill you"_ she threatened tightly holding his wrist to prevent him from going further.

"Hey! No blood slaughter" said Draco looking at her through the rearview mirror as he drove "it'll stain the seats"

Jack ignored Draco, and tried to release his hand from Galadriel's lobster clasp "s'not my fault you're sitting on me"

"Because there's no more room!" she said angrily as she hit him with his own hand across the face, knocking his hat off in the process.

"Yeah" agreed Hermione "I got the floor, it's very uncomfortable"

"Don't complain" said Draco "Be grateful I'm kind enough to give you all a ride, instead of making you walk there"

Sam looked out the window pouting, and grumbled under his breath "If I should be grateful I'm crammed, I'd rather walk" Draco suddenly stopped the car.

"Alright" said Draco slowly, looking directly at Sam through the mirror with the smug Slytherin look he knew so well.

**~Five seconds later~**

"NO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Sam was running after Draco's car as it moved away quite faster than a poor hobbit of his health group could achieve to catch on foot. "Come back!" he pleaded helplessly as he mourned the tiny space that had left him.

But the people in the car who were crammed like sardines, rejoiced! There was more space, a slightly more comfortable trip this had turned out to be. There was very little celebration, as the two girls quickly made their move to claim the empty space. Unfortunately one was closer and got there first.

Galadriel groaned and sat back on Jack's lap, grumbling to herself.

Instead of wallowing in Galadriel's sorrow, let us rejoice at Saphira's and Elizabeth's karaoke skill, as they bonded with each other, singing loudly and dancing to "Rich Girl" which when **I **sang in karaoke, I almost passed out, because I was forgetting to breathe. I'm not joking. Are you laughing at me? Aah! You try singing three hours nonstop without water and see how well you do!

"The narrator gets more and more annoying everyday" sighed Hermione.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for sticking around! Please review, I'm thinking of a sequel if you're interested in giving ideas for one. Btw, there's a similarity between two characters, I don't know if anyone has caught it yet. OH, the songs are "My Japanese Boy" and it's a remix, though many listings show the song by "Aneka" and others by "Shanadoo". "Rich Girl" by Gwen Steffani.**


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